Confessions of a Relationship Saboteur
by Crying Pixie
Summary: Doesn’t everyone have that one friend that seems to seek out dysfunctional emotionally draining relationships? The one who no matter how good she has it feels the compulsion to ruin it? Welcome to the world of Katie Bell. KBOW


Confessions of a Relationship Saboteur

A/N: Right, so sorry to anyone who actually liked my last story I found it rather awful and got rid of it. This one should be a little more entertaining or at least I thought so at 2 in the morning. Let me know if it is even worth continuing or if I should just give up.

"I am so sick of that goldfish!" Katie Bell exclaimed as she slammed down an armful of groceries on the kitchen counter causing her roommate to jump and spill tea everywhere.

"The one you're dating or the one he gave you as a 'token of his never ending love'?" Angelina lazily asked, barely even looking up from her rather tea-soaked romance novel.

"The one I'm dating. I mean honestly he just goes through life in a daze making that wall-eyed guppy face until you poke him and then-."

"What has our little Katiekins gotten laid?" Fred gasped and by gasped I mean shouted. With an explosion of confetti and the blaring of trumpet fanfare the Twins burst through the door. Or rather tried to, it seems that two grown men cannot in fact fit through the same doorway at the same time. After a momentary struggle that evolved into a wrestling match in the middle of the living room the twins had finally finished their grand entrance.

"Or is she just torturing little defenseless animals again?" George couldn't help but point out eyebrows waggling. His o so witty remark was rather ruined by the fact that Fred had charmed aforementioned eyebrows to resemble rather fluffy pink caterpillars.

Katie sighed; yet again the beginning of what would become a splendid rant was cut short by the untimely entrance of the Weasley twins."Come to think of it why do I even pretend to like the two of you? You break everything you touch, you hexed my bunny slippers to sing the songs from _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_ and you basically fail at life"

…Dead silence…

"Great yet another day with out an internal monologue. No wonder why I can only date freaks." Angelina just sighed, not a "golly-gee just look how silly Katie is" sigh but one of those "aww how romantic, he just pledged his unending love for her in a totally cliché way" kind of sighs. _It's always nice to know that your friends really pay attention and care about you._ George plopped down on the sofa and it let out a noticeably strangled gasp.

"Nonsense Katiekins you simply need to work you way up through the evolutionary chain of dating specimens until you get to us." Fred was poking through the groceries, not putting them away just poking. George was continuing his rant err I mean speech "Yes us real men are at the very top, but good news for you." Fred had returned triumphant after finding the popcorn. "Right after goldfish come manic former quidditch captains" Fred made a "oh you'd better believe it" face and went back to eating. "And as you know we have one in residence" Another 'oh you'd better believe it' face from Fred. "So you don't even need to find a cage for this one."

Angelina perked up a the word cage unfortunately the only thing she could mumble was "Ummm cages are sexy" and then she was quickly spirited back to whatever strange place she had came from. Fred was looking strangely excited remark and not wanting to continue that thought Katie swiftly moved toward the kitchen to put away the rather mangled groceries. Unfortunately for her George had followed her and was still talking.

"I even know how to lure him out of his den" he finished smugly holding a box of shortbread biscuits. The sound of keys in the door and a chuckled "Is Katie torturing little animals again or looking for a date?" announced the return of the 'manic former quidditch captain'.

A/N: So I feel kind of bad after writing this because I used the 'goldfish' line to describe this one guy I was dating. Should I continue I promise the next chapter will have more of Katie's relationship with "goldfish guy".


End file.
